in need of some help

I am wondering if I have a neon sign that says Looser flying over my head thats only visible to other people? again I have been hurt! I have a hard time when your close to someone and you are there through thick and thin and poof that person is gone. Im so tired of being hurt i could scream. 3 of my 5 kids have now pretty much ditched old Dad adn it hurts. Im so tired of the heart ache i just want to disapear and say to hell with it. Trust me it my world it would be very easy to disapear. I am at that point in life where i just want to give up, Im tired of trying and giving and hurting. I know this sounds so dramatic but its how i feel. I went in today to do all the paperwork for my new job and get my physical and guess what happened? I failed!!!! the limit for the blood pressure is 140 over 90 and I did 147 over 92 so tommorow I get to make a visit to the doctor and get a physsical there.....woooo hooo I just hope i pass. i have had many hits on my trailor and have found the most beautifull truck
i m sellin the trailor for 2 grand and the trucck is 1500 so I will have money for insurance adn tags. I just hope this font fall through too.

so my question is this......... should a person just stop careing and be hardened adn callous or should I keep on trying? andy suggestions would be awesome